How to DE-Beyoncefie your Teen Girl!
Dear Writing Addict,
I just want to say first that I love your blog and I appreciate how you are supporting us loc'd women. Well I am in need of support right now. I am a mother of a 15 year old teen-aged girl who abhors my locs! In fact she constantly mentions to me how I need to take them down and get a relaxer. She said I should wear the popular styles that are out right now. In fact, I think she is embarrassed by my hair. What can I do to show her that natural hair is beautiful? That locs are my crown of choice?
Dear Un-Hip Mom,
Thank you for your kind words I really appreciate them. You are right I am here for all natural haired beauties!
Now lets get down to it....
How your daughter feels about her"self" first starts within the home. I don't know how long you have been natural but if she grew up in the home where she never saw you fully satisfied, enjoying, and uplifting your natural self this is natural thing is somehting new and foreign to her. However, if you have been natural the whole time; where she saw you praising yourself, commenting on other natural beauties (actually pointing them out), had her father to also compliment it, then she would be completely comfortable with it all.
Again, I don't know the situation but it is up to you to counteract society's views and standards of beauty. Now, this means turning off BET, or other negative shows that show us in a negative light. She needs to see positive affirmations of beauty! She needs to see you totally satisfied, and praising yourself! Magazines, blogs, websites, point out natural beauty famous women, etc.
Truly, you are going up against the machine of fake beauty! You have to tell her that we don't truly know what is up underneath Beyonce's lace front wig! She might be a natural beauty herself! It might be a good thing to go into the history of why there is so much self-hate within our culture. You will have to explain the effects of chemicals on our hair. Explain all the wonderful reasons natural should be the choice, educate her on her hair texture and all the options of natural hairstyles.
This is going to have to be a journey that you both take. Explain the importance of loving "self," the natural beauty God blessed you both with!
I hope I have helped a little. Stay encouraged, don't give up, and turn off BET!
Stay Blessed & Happy Locing!