You may have seen him on the field, or you may have seen him all hugged up on cutie Meagan Goode, but chances are NFL hunk star Thomas Jones hasn't really crossed your mind. You know why? Because this brother has his head on straight, keeps out of the lime light, and takes care of business. So when Essence had the chance to ask him some questions, you know they couldn't let him leave without asking him to give dating advice to Black women...Whew, now if an accomplished brother knows this info, why don't we as black women know? Heed the words Queens, heed his words.ESSENCE.COM: With such a busy schedule, how do you make your relationship with Megan [Good] work?
JONES: I look at it as something I want to do, and we take it one day at a time. I don't look at it like it's work. The reality is I work in New York and she works in L.A., but we are fortunate we have jobs where it's flexible. I'm in New York for five months of the year and the other time I am wherever she is. To me, it's what you make it. I've never seen myself as a celebrity, which is probably because I'm from a small town. I'm just blessed I get to do something I love to do. She's the same way, and really humble. We may be at the mall or the movies, and people will say what are y'all doing here. We're doing the same thing everyone else does.ESSENCE.COM: And being in a relationship, how is it dealing with groupies who have their eyes set on a snagging an athlete?
JONES: It's tough. A lot of things men do is for women, from wanting nice bodies to jewelry. So when you are in a situation where plenty of women are around you, it's tempting. But if guys look at the big picture as a whole, it would be easier to make decisions. I've been blessed to make it through a lot of situations. Anything I'm doing, if [Megan's] not there, she knows. Period.ESSENCE.COM: Good to hear. So what are thoughts for Black women when it comes to love?
JONES: Don't expect something you aren't working towards. Don't look for a man to respect you when you don't respect yourself. Everything you do eventually will come back, though it might not happen when you expect. You have to work on you. People say they want a good guy or have been praying, and a lot of time God gives you that time to work on yourself. That way when you do find him, you're ready. A lot of times, somebody will come across your path, and you're not ready for that, or you're looking for something else, and it's right in front of you.
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4 comments:
I actually think his comment is pretty damaging to Black women. The reason a lot of Black women haven't found what they are looking for isn't because they "need to work on themselves." It's because they are circulating around low quality men, dating where the numbers are heavily stacked in the men's favor, and being told they need to "pray" and "improve themselves."
What's he's saying is generally true, but it doesn't take Black women's unique circumstances into consideration. I've heard some women say, "don't take dating advice from men." Now I see why they say this.
Aisha,
You have a very interesting take on this matter, and one that is indeed important because honestly your point really needs to be brought into the light.
What I gather from what you are saying is, that if Black Men put this type of ideology out into the media, it just perpetuates the thought that ALL black women have problems, and therefore cannot get or keep a man.
This is highly untrue. I totally agree with your comment.
I'm so happy you understand!
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