May 5, 2009
Okay Queens we have to take a moment to revisit one extremely important area when it comes to sporting natural hair: Loving yourself.
I know you are saying, "Hmph, I love myself, shoot!" But ask yourself do you really? Do you really want to get back to who you really are? The very bare essence of you and not society's version of what beauty should be?
Very early on when I began to wear my hair in twists before it began to loc, I can remember all of the stares, the questions, the unsolicited advice family, friends and even strangers threw my way. The only thing I kept saying to myself is, "This is me, this is who I truly am without all of the extras. If people can't accept me for who I really am then I don't need them in my space anyways."
Well, its not enough to have that frame of mind, you must also think that way about you too. Explore your reasons for wanting to sport locs, twists, sister locs, or any natural hairstyle for that matter. Are you doing it because its whats "hot" right now? Are you doing it because you think it could please someone you like or love? Are you truly doing it for yourself?
Well if you answered "I'm doing it for myself," then you need to further explore your reasons. I have been approached many times by newly loc'd people, about how they just want to skip the so called "ugly stage," how they want the hair to "hurry up" and grow and be long and beautiful. How the locs are "doing their own thing."
Ladies, let me remind you that #1 you must be very confident, and secure in yourself to wear your hair natural. You have to spend some time with yourself. For me, when I first did the drastic cut, my hair was no more than maybe 1 1/2 in long. I locked myself in the bathroom for what seemed like hours just standing in front of the mirror examining every aspect of myself, from every angle. I climbed so close to the mirror I should have been scared. I poked and prodded my face. Made funny faces, took off every inch of makeup and really studied me. I ran my hands all over my hair and felt the soft, fuzziness of my hair. I pulled, and stretched it. I laughed for some odd reason, cried, and played dress up all by myself. Trust me, if someone had seen me that day they probably would have had me admitted. For they wouldn't have understood that I was just being reintroduced to myself. I hadn't seen me in such a long, long time.
Then some type of confidence came over me. I told myself that day over and over again how much I loved me. I announced every single part of my body out loud and said how much I loved and appreciated it. From that moment I became so special, so beautiful, I became a woman.
Since I loved everything about me, that meant I loved everything that God made, because God don't make mistakes! I accepted whatever came with the territory. So when my twists started doing its own thing, I said out loud how much I appreciated them. When they would no longer lay against my head by force? Well I just took my hair and tousled them even more and let my antennas to God do their thing.
My Queens in order to be able to rock the locs, you have to appreciate every single stage of the growing process. You need to be able to be at peace at every length. Stop trying to "train your hair." Train your hair? Isn't this sort of how society has been trying to "train" you for years to be what they deem beautiful? Allow your hair to be what it is, own your beauty. No matter how straight, kinky, curly, short, long, different textures, etc. Own it, groom it, accept it, and love it. People know when you love who you are. They know when you respect your hair, then they will be forced to respect it too. When you give yourself the attention you deserve, accept the beauty God has bestowed upon you, respect your body inside & out, appreciate all that you are, then the freedom comes. It comes out of trusting yourself. Then and only then will you be on your way to Queendom.