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Sep 9, 2010

Domestic Violence Revisited

Floyd Merriweather & Josie Harris
As of late celebrity couples have been in the news not for love being in the air, but for irrational decisions, and their behavior (insert domestic violence here sans Chris Brown). Relationships are very tricky, either they bring you intense love, or intense pain. Rarely do they linger somewhere in the middle. However, a lot of couples decide to stay together for reasons unbeknown to us despite flags of upcoming impending doom. Along with the awkward silences, frequent arguments, bad attitudes, non-intimacy, disrespect, confrontations, dishonesty, and infidelity they introduce violence into the mix. Now don't get me wrong I know all relationships have ups and downs, but when you insert violence, "Houston we have a problem."  When there is mental abuse so bad where it actually breaks down a mates self-esteem, confidence, and respect, and physical abuse the couple just shouldn't be.

I have been a domestic violence advocate for many years, as early as 2001. I have volunteered at numerous battered women shelters where I have seen lacerations, bruises, burns so bad it would make your stomach turn. Domestic violence goes on in more relationships than we care to count, and the only reason of course we hear about the Floyd Merriweather's and Matt Barnes is well because they are celebrities. Matt Barnes and his live in girlfriend were set to be married earlier this year, called the wedding off, and now we have news of his arrest due to domestic violence. The interesting twist is that now he is stating he was the victim, but because he is a man the police placed him under arrest. This may or may not be true still, I know in some states both parties go to jail no matter who the aggressor is. How different are these couples from you, or someone you know? How many of you know that one couple that you hate to invite to come over because you know before the end of the night they are going to be fussing and fighting, someone is going to get shoved, and God know's what else? Well Domestic Violence is no joke. I have seen too much, and I have lost a good friend to it. There is no excuse for physical abuse. No reason for a man to lift his hand to a woman unless he is trying to defend his life, don't leave out the women. We have plenty of women who slap, bite, kick, pinch, and push their men. It is not acceptable. If you are involved in a physical relationship then you need to reevaluate your life and decide if it is worth your life. 

Matt Barnes & Gloria Govan

Domestic violence hurts the children. When they see mommy or daddy getting hit, it affects and effects them tremendously. They learn horrible traits that they carry with them for the rest of their lives (okay insert Chris Brown here). A lot of people decide they will not intervene in someones relationship when there is domestic violence because they fear of being hurt, or they say, 'she's only going to go back to him.' Well this may be true, but at least you talked to them, or pass them the domestic violence hot line number. Think about it a life might be saved.

The purpose of this post is not to condemn Matthew Barnes nor Floyd Merriweather because I don't know the particulars. I am just using them as recent examples of relationships gone wrong. Remember, love doesn't hurt. If it does then you need to tweak your definition of love. 


National Domestic Violence Hotline

Stay Blessed & Happy Locing!

1 comment:

zainab1 said...


I am pretty new to your great blog. But, visit often...I looooove your passion for domestic violence, I too have that passion and have decided to use my blog as a way to aid in bringing awarness to domestic violence as well (along with a few other womens issues,..... breast cancer , ovarian cancer)

In my county the acwc ( atlantic county womens center) there is in dire need of support, to make the much needed repairs and renovate the center...this center helps women and children that has been a part or in the thick of this horrible thing domectic violence.

The best part is all they need is votes... please feel free to view the post and info about the center here at my site...

included in this post is the very site in which you can place your vote...please pass the word .

Thank you ever so much, take care