I pose this question because everywhere I look, and read I am finding black women asking everybody else how they feel about their looks, lives, etc. Whatever happened to living for yourself? I don't mean to offend anyone, but really Queens I am getting a little perturbed at some of the emails I am receiving. I get an email at least once a week asking me if they should "risk it all" by going natural. Risk it all? Exactly what is, "risk it all?" You mean to tell me all of your loved ones, friends, family, your job, everyone is going to turn their backs on you just because you choose to love yourself and do you?Please turn off that damn idiot box called television, log off of those darn computers (even mine if you have to), whatever it is you need to do to get reacquianted with self. Can we as black women make up our own minds about what beauty, and sexiness is? Are we this vain that we feel that we can't actually make it unless people deem we are beautiful?
If this is the case then we have a lot of work to do on self. I am afraid for you if you can't wake up, walk to the mirror, and smile. Honey get this, if a man you are peeping, seeing, come across isn't feeling your natural flavor then guess what? You don't need him. It's as simple as that.
Your self growth, and self esteem is more than what others think of you. You cannot live your life like that. If you are that afraid of throwing that tattered weave, wig into the trash than you need to run not walk to the nearest therapist to get some help. There I said it.
I remember once this older guy was trying his best to date me. He said he loved everything about me, but he did not like my hair. I had been loc'd for about 2 years and he asked me, "When are you going to take those things out of your hair?"
Those things? I cut that shit off right then and there because I can handle a fool, but an old fool is the worst. So I am telling you black women stop asking everybody else about what you should do on things that relate to you, grow up and make some decisions for yourself.
Okay, that's enough preaching!
Stay Blessed & Happy Locing!
4 comments:
Women in general struggle with having healthy self esteem. Black women probably have a more intense struggle, because of societal conditioning.
Women also are our worst critics...much worse than men. I get tired of reading so much negativity, aimed at women, (BY OTHER WOMEN), regarding their looks, style choices, etc. It's like high school, all over again. Seems women (as a whole) never grow out of it. But we wanna chastise men for being "superficial", when it comes to outward appearance. Okay.
I understand how men (people, actually) work. But like you said, if a guy doesn't like your look, then what can you do? Either stay you, and wait for someone to see and appreciate you, or try to be something else.
When women get it together, it'll change the way men relate to us. I promise you.
OOOO YES LAWD!!! I wish I had become natural b 4 I got married cuz I would not be married to this person or anybody that looked like him, sounded like him or walked talked or believes as he. Thank you, great post!!!! I was reading it and had it up on my screen at work and 2 black guys read it b 4 I did even and were like "AMEN"!!!!!
Excellent advice. Spoken like a true Queen.
"Nuff said!"
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