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Jun 10, 2009

Do Men of Other Races like Natural Black Women?

Hot topic today chile, woo whee, so lets just dive right in and get it started. I just wanted to open the floor and get the debate going now...lets just get it over. While its hard enough for us to get respect from our own men, meaning, not all black men are happy about dating a woman with her natural hair. I know it may be a surprise but its true. I remember once before I was married I was seeing a guy who had the audacity to ask me when I was going to cut my dreads or take them down. Hmph, the horror! I told him I'd get rid of his ass before I got rid of my locs, and thats exactly what I did!

But let me ask you something, have you ever sashayed by a man of another race maybe lets say, a white man and he gave you the once over like you were a piece of meat? Does this happen regularly? Well it happens to me all of the time!

I have always dated openly. I didn't have time to wait around for the perfect black man...I dated whomever treated me like a Queen, or whomever I felt a bit of attraction to. But one question I always got was, "Is your hair a weave? I mean is all of that your hair?" Look, I'm a reformed weavaholic, okay? And, what could I say? Nothing, because it was a daggone weave. I was deathly afraid of letting my hair go natural, for fear of not being considered "sexy" anymore, but man oh man. Once I got liberated with my natural hair honey I became the epitome of sexy! Ok, maybe I'm just tooting my own horn a bit but thats how I feel. Obviously its how white men feel too, because I get all kinds of googly eyes, and such!

I don't know how any of you feel about dating outside of your race, and I respect everyone's decision. But let me say this, if you are open to love from different races but think those other races don't like you because you have tightly coiled, or loc'd hair? Well you need to think again. Maybe slow down a bit when walking past...lift up that head and stop staring at the ground while you walk. Remember honey you are a Queen and Queens are proud, they walk with eloquence and pride. You may just be surprised at "who" is checking you out! I know I was.

The men of other races I talked to told me that I was beautiful just like I was, that they loved my hair. That all of me was beautiful, not just some, but all....

I checked out some other blogs, but the excerpt below is by a white man who has a blog entitled, Black is Beautiful, wow. He really has a whole blog dedicated to black women. I had to place his excerpt on here about how he likes a black woman who is still connected to her roots, my guess, a natural black woman. What do you think about that below? I want to hear from you. Have you been checked out by other races? Do you think you are more attractive natural? I want your thoughts please in the comment section.

Let's Go....

Taken from the blog,

Roots are "sexy"

I think it's so "sexy" (not sure if thats the best word to describe it, but...) with a woman that keep her african roots and the vibe. I mean, a lot of the black women, here in Sweden, tend to get a too western attitude and vibe. I really like a woman that keeps here tradition, roots and history close to her heart. But that's just my thoughts! :)


B said...

Such an interesting topic, sis! I get soooo many comments on my Pelo Negro hair video (this video talks about my journey from permed hair to natural hair) from non-Black men complimenting my hair. Prior to that I didn’t even think White, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, etc men gave 2 cents about how I, as a Black woman, wore my hair. But surprisingly---I guess some of them do care. In fact…I think I get more compliments from non-brothas than brothas. Wow.

Writing Addict said...

Hey mammas!

Girl thats why I brought it up! I have heard from men who think our natural hair is so beautiful, they often wonder why we try to alter it. I just don't think other women are aware of this! Alot of natural women feel like they are doing something wrong by accepting the compliments or dating outside of their race as a natural woman.

I know natural women who feel as if they should only date black men because they are natural? I dunno? I would love to hear some more on that perspective...

mschantal said...

I have worn my hair natural or the past 15 years, anything from tight kink locs, twists, fro's, braids, my natural curl, and even a fade! I get more compliments on my hair from white men than looks from brothas. In fact what I normally hear from black men is "why don't you flat iron your hair or get a relaxer" " your so pretty why do you want to wear your hair like that" or "you would probably look better with you hair like beyonce's". All of these comments just made me rock my fro even more. The confidence that went along with my natural hair got me plenty of stares and attention from other races.

I am actually married to an Italian man who LOVES and I do mean LOVES my natural hair. He even helps me take my braids down and washes my hair for me, talk about being treated like a queen! He says that what he loves most about my hair is that it's ME and how in a world full of people that are all trying to look the same I stand out to him. He loves the fact that I am true to myself and am confident enough to love what God gave me and not ruin it to look like someone else.

Now don't get me wrong, not all brothas want their women to look like Beyonce' and not all non-black men like natural hair on black women. What I think it boils down to is confidence. I think men of different races are attracted to confidence and think it's sexy. It goes back to what my great gammy used to say "If you don't like you then nobody else will either", love the true you and ALL of it's parts and that inner beauty will shine outwardly and will attract your king no matter what race he is.

Writing Addict said...

mschantal, girl you put it best! I love this. You are so right, I do find that its a confidence thing, because you can have the most beautiful woman with the worst self-esteem and self-image she will not be appealing no matter how you dress her up. Thank you so much for this input, its so very true.

Sum Kinda Wonderful... said...

I get compliments all the time, particularly from white teenage boys and younger white men. I've never had interest in men who are not Hispanic or black, so I've never given it any serious contemplation. But I will admit, I get more compliments from these young white brothers than anyone else. **off to contemplate this some more**

Kicukalah said...

I've had the teenage males look at me. Being white and hispanic. So intriqued with my hair that they stop me on the street. Now the brothas, not so much with one exception. My Sweetie Pie of 2 years (a black man)encouraged me to loc my hair and now that it is, he plays in it more than I do!

Kicukalah said...

Oh I should say that brothas do holla at a sistah after I have primped and curled myself to death. My locs are so young and small that right now I could get away with microbraids if they are curled. But let me walk out the house and my roots are showing because I'm freestyling or not wearing much makeup, just lip gloss and a bronzer. I'll get a look from a young white male quicker than a brotha.

Oh and either way primped & curled or natural & freestylin' I feel confident. NOw. When I was rockin' a fierce doobie wrap with relaxed hair down to my bra strap, It was nothing for a brotha (about 30ish) to try to get my number. Now not so much. That's why at first I was so afraid of going natural. I was afraid I was not going to be attractive anymore. But thank God for liberation!

msfullroller said...

Girl, yes I am way more attractive & confident than when I was permed.

Anonymous said...

Greetings Queen Tosh,
Chall I live in Los Angeles, the Valley area and I will tell you interracial dating is normal. I RARELY see the same culture together as fars as our poeple are concerned. Something that has really caught my eye is the amount of Black girls with white men and I haven't seen NOT one of those sisters with a weave. It's always locs or a curly fro, or pressed. It's sad but I've always said I think white men appreciate us exactly that way we are more than our own brothas. I think our Queens started going permed, with straight hair and weaves cause we were trying to look like the white girls all of our men were attracted to. Lets be honest our men want their off spring to have a certain type of hair. Whites find that hair acceptable.

Another things I notice is a white man in this area is like the blacker the berry the sweeter, so I've always seen chocolate natural sistahs with white men MARRIED not just hooked up strolling through the mall or park with their children. It's normal here.

I heard a non-black say to someone "can black poeple grow hair" then comment on a black girls straight weave and how the texture didn't match. I was done.

No more trying to straighten my hair. It's healthier and to answer your question YES I feel sexier. I can do as the caucasions do. Put my head under water, walk in the rain. Water is no longer cryptonite. It's nice.

Kitty Soulflower

Writing Addict said...

Miss Kitty,

Girl thank you for saying what I already knew out here. You out here sunshine? Now you know we have to hook up some thangs! LOL

Anyway, its sad but true, I just wanted to hear from someone else. The reason I used to kick the weaves and be addicted to the creamy crack was because I wanted to assimilate and look like the kind of girls the men I knew were attracted too. Hmph, at some point you just quit trying to keep up with the "Becky's" and love what you were born with!

Thank you for your extremely important insight.

One Love Queen

Naturigurl said...

It's interesting that you post this and while I havent had any negative or positive comments about my hair as yet, (That or I havnt noticed). I did take a venture over to Mr Andreas Blog and you should have seen how one innocent post got turned into something so ugly and sour. This lady came on the site bashing black women and all because she couldnt stand the fact that one man who happens to be white chose to speak out about his preferences for black women. I felt like wow why is she here posting and being so hateful? She should have known that she was going to get blasted by all the people who happened to be reading the post. This website(road to queendom) and his are very uplifting to a woman like me who for a long time who would not accept her natural beauty and her worth. Everyday I find a little more reason to be proud of who I am and accept the fact that I'm not going to please everyone all the time. I can only walk with integrity and teach my daughter that no matter what shade her skin tone is she is truly beautiful.

P.S I am married to a WM who thought I was rocking it from the time we met it's been 13 years and we still love strong.