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Jul 15, 2010

Black Men Revealed....but Which Black Men are they Referring to?


I reached out to TV One to express my concerns and this is what they tweeted me, yes on Twitter:
@WritingAddict Sorry the show didn't meet expectations. Hope #ultimatemerger (a dark-skinned woman and men of all shades) works better
Really TV One? You are really offering a weak apology followed by comparing The Ultimate Merger starring Omorosa and a serious topic such as self-hate amongst black people. Do me no favor by offering your weak apology. You are just proving my point, your programming is reckless, and above all ignorant. You won't even take a moment to review the taping, and bump it against my grievances. You pass me off as a weak, ignorant, television viewer with a robotic empty mind. I'm sure whoever is tweeting has an insignificant part in all of this and is doing nothing more than offering sarcasm. It is neither funny, nor cute. Your programming is stifling, and it does nothing to further our people. 


TV One has a show that airs at 10 am EST called, Black Men Revealed. Now on their programming page it states the hosts of this show are Doug and Ryan Stewart, but this wasn't the host that I saw sitting in the host seat for the past two days. You see I live on the West Coast therefore, I see the show while I'm dressing for work in the morning.

Now yesterday, they were having a round table discussion about men cheating....but what I saw was a round table of black men discussing how they cheated, why they cheated and what they will do to not get caught...again. Yes, really, they were supposedly dishing and teaching those out there in TV land how not to get caught when cheating. I was baffled, but not surprised because this of course is TV One. You might have guessed it already, TV One is owned by Radio One and who else? You guessed it, Comcast you know the same lovely people who brings us BET? Please I don't have much time for this post so I really can't get into all of that but you get my drift right? If not then you know how to contact me.

Moving along, what really moved me to write this blog is the fact that this morning the Black Men Revealed show had the Dark Skin vs. Light Skin round table discussion going on...hmm...okay. I was prepared to see some really intelligent brothers sitting there giving their take on this stronghold that has our community divided, but I digress. What I saw was a comedian (I guess that's who he was), some other young brother I am not familiar with, and Al B. Sure (yes, mister Do Ya Wanna Wanna), and a well known photographer. Look I was still hopeful; maybe they had some knowledge to drop on the black community...yea right.

Let me just say that my jaw dropped as the comedian (lawd I wish I had wrote this brothers name down) said matter of factly..."Naw, I don't date dark skinned women, unh-uh I don't fool with them; my woman is so light she almost white," then when the host asked him why he said, "Because they have attitudes, all of em."  I blankly stared at the screen. Then the other young brother, said, "No, my preference is light-skinned because all those dark skinned women have attitudes; my wife is Sicilian."  Then they moved on to the videographer/photographer (who was African might I add) he stated, "I just got back from Africa, and I love dark skinned women; their cheekbones structure, etc." Don't get happy just yet because he added, "But I don't really date dark skinned women from America, because they do have this attitude about them. Well there goes hope. Then it was Al B Sure's turn up for bat, I just walked the hell away to continue my business because at this point I was without hope. Well he stated for him it wasn't about color at all it was about a spiritual thing, that and feet. "What? Okay whatever."

I have chimed in on this light skinned vs. dark skinned time and again. But the recklessness took me somewhere else. Where were the intelligent people to really go deep with this subject? Where were our brothers who were secure within themselves enough, who saw past color period to break this down where we can all understand that beauty is in how a woman carries herself, her personality, etc. Not just by the color of her skin. Why did they put men in front of the camera who had nothing to say good about the many beautiful dark skinned women with kind hearts, and the deeply rooted women of our society? This brings me to my next point of why I am disgusted.

The host asked the men if women preferred black men with good hair or nappy hair. Really are you really asking this question? Of course you know the comedian who stated that although he is a dark skinned man he has "good hair,” that when his new growth grows in it is wavy, that he really could be a light skinned brother. Chile I was too through. There was no hope. He taunted the Mr. ‘My Wife is Sicilian’ brother to no end saying that he had to have some chemicals in his hair, and that he had that good hair. Black women don't want a brother with nappy hair, etc. You know he had to tease Al B Sure. Al said he had four different textures of hair, and the back was nappy. The African man said he had locs for over 10 years, and this was the first time he saw his good hair.

At that point I was too through; I just chucked it up as, more irresponsible programming from ComCast. Why am I disturbed? Because this show is supposedly telling us (women) what is on the minds of black men. This is what TV One has listed as the description for this particular show:

Dark Skin vs. Light Skin - Its joked about and re-enacted in black cinema, but tonight, the guys share some serious moments about a secret issue in black communities across the nation-- colorism. Host David Arnold and group of guys of all different shades discuss how their skin complexion colored their childhood, adolescent and adult experiences (

 I did not hear anything serious; I only heard one dimensional, one sided conversation. It wasn't rounded out at all nor did I walk away with anything profound. Honey please. TV One if you want to tell us what is on the minds of Black Men then how about putting black men with all types of views on your show; not just one sided views. I am so happy, so very glad that I have self-esteem, confidence, and I know who and what I am. What about the sister who is looking at this show, who doesn't? What about the black woman who is torn in between getting that next relaxer or weave to portray so called good-hair, or going natural to see and feel her God given good hair? What about the young ladies who are out of school on spring break, who doesn't embrace her beautiful skin tone yet because she has never heard she is pretty just the way she is.

I am so thankful for social medians such as this, blogging, Twitter, and Facebook, so that we can break this down, and try and repair the misinformation reckless programming such as BET and TV One is dishing out.
Black women, all Black women you are beautiful. Just look at the pics here, look at the various natural hair sites online, my beautiful weaved, and relaxed sisters I can’t and won’t leave you out. Do not allow these narrow-minded and obviously strategically placed views to infiltrate your mindset. Keep on teaching our little ladies who they are and how beautiful they are. We must right what we see and hear wrong.

TV One...your so called insightful roundtables fail miserably because you fail to have a wide representation across the board. You need to go back to the storyboards, and try again.


Write Of Fusion said...

OMG...This is definitely pathetic. C'mon my brothas! I can't even call 'em my brothas because they're not acting like brothas. More like clowns. There is nothing better in the world than a sistah who is different in many ways, shape, and complexion. I find something positive in every aspect of my black sistah, and will never discriminate because of the shade of their skin. Are you kidding me?! That's racism in my book. TVOne, and all that's affiliated with them, played this out as a cruel joke on our strong black sistahs who, no matter what shade of brown they are, deserves way better than a few idiots' opinion...who aren't even comfortable in their own skin.

Rani (rah-nee) said...

We're living in a sad, sad time. So far ahead, but still lagging behind. It's a shame to know that at this day and age, generations after slavery, generations after King, we're still cannot unite as a people and love who we are. We're forever looking to the world to accept what makes us beautiful, but here is a prime example that we can't expect the world to love and accept us when we can't love and accept ourselves. I've always believed its great to love who you love, regardless of race or creed, but when you belittle a race, especially your own, and then hide behind this "oh, that's my preference" statement, what does that say about you? Self-hatred is real people, and this is how it has and will manifest.

WooHoney said...

It is very sad that racism still exist not just across the races but between as well. This proves (for me) that the Jim Crow laws have made a lasting impression in them minds of black people all over and we can see it all around us. I honestly can't believe that a black man would go on TV and talk so negative about their own race. Just Ignorant!

T'arr.a Lu said...

I don't know when this "rag on black woman " phenomenon happened but it's to the point where I laugh at the ignorant comments, esp those coming from black men. You have Steve Harvey telling women how to act, the oh so lovely Jimi Izreal educating us on why Black women can't find a good man (Denzel Principle) like really??? Excuses excuses and more excuses for black men not to step it up. Yea I said it. Black men such as the one's on TVOne round table nowadays are unwilling to step it up when it comes to dealing with these complex issues. It's embarrassing TVONE! BET! So shameful that they're not putting more worthy people out there to have serious discuss about this matter. I'm over it. I'm just glad that there are strong, educated brothas out there who knows the deal; the media just doesn't want y'all to know about them...

Kasey said...

That episode of BMR is actually really old, I don't think there are any new episodes airing. But I saw it and I was shocked too, however I feel like even though their opnions are offensive, ignorant, and LAME they are REALITY in the community and should be heard and then addressed with intellegence. The bigger issue is that the roundtable wasn't more diverse in ideas.

Boogie said...

I wish I could say that I'm surprised -- but I'm NOT! This whole self-hatred among my people got out of hand a long time ago. It's really sickening. One of the worst things about it is that no one sees it enough to change it!

I'll be back to respond later after work.

Toshia "Writing Addict" Shaw said...

Hi everyone, thank you for the feedback. Good to see I am not the only one appalled nor am I just making a big deal out of something that others think isn't there.

@ Kasey, I didn't know this was an old episode, pitiful that they are still airing this mess!

@Boogie, I can't wait to read your response later.


Middle Child said...

Interesting. I'm not a fan of MOST black entertainment. It's really sad. I just think we are so misrepresented. However, I think it helps to expose jerks for jerks, so women aren't left dreaming that the male characters in Tyler Perry's films that save these black women from the "God-forbidden" single life actually exist. Now, I'm not good black men do not exist. I'm saying all people are flawed and I appreciate men with their crazy, flawed, weak selves. I appreciate them even more when they SAY they're flawed, weak, and crazy when it comes to women. I'm one of many women who've said, "I wish I could be a fly on the wall when the men talk [when the women AREN'T around]. We say this, because we don't want their "sugar-coated" version of the truth. The problem is, not many of us women can handle finding out most men are jerks . . . even the good ones are, at times. Just like many of us good women can be witches at times. It is human to be a jerk. I think we just need to learn to love one another, AS IS, and try our best to sharpen one another by challenging one another and ourselves to be better. This is what the caucasian community has that we do not. They are patient and willing to invest in hope for the future. They do it generationally and they do it in relationships. They're not more forgiving, nor more loving. They are just more realistic. We've got to get there . . . to realism. God bless.