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Mar 11, 2010


Queens, I am sure you have been noticing all of the media attention we black women have been getting lately. However, its been mostly negative. As we gain strides in the workplace, school, Hollywood, music, etc... the media is busy tearing us down painting a picture of us being: broke, destitute, lonely, desperate, unattractive, carriers of disease, etc.

Don't believe this Queens! This is one reason why I run On the Road to Queendom, I will refute any and all negative coverage they are doing on us! Now more than ever we need to come together and say, enough! We need to depict something other than what they are trying to show. We can be wealthy and independent, let us make good choices with our finances. Let us live within our means, and save no less than 10% of our earnings! If this means we have to walk by that pair of shoes staring at us from the shop window then walk by! Do not spend money you do not have! You can be beautiful and sexy while living on a budget! That is just it, make a budget and stick to it!

Spend within "our" community! Whenever possible buy black! Buy from black women who are in beauty, skin care, clothing, and the jewelry business. Hire your "own" to do things! Lets circulate this money within our own community! Stop going to the Kim Lee's beauty supply and nail salon! If we are to prosper we have to build one another up!

Lonely? This one kills me. Yes, black men are dating outside of our race but guess what? So can you. But don't get it twisted there are still plenty of black men, who want nothing more than his mirrored reflection, a Queen. So please do not jump on the bandwagon bad mouthing all black men thinking they are only out to hurt, abuse, take, and date outside of their race. If you need tips on dating, or love advice you know how to reach me. Thats another post all together. Please do not believe the media saying that we are going to live and die alone. This is not true. We are beautiful, and there are good men out there ready to court us!

Unattractive? Puhleeze! Have you looked at the slide show up there at yourselves? Have you been paying attention? We are beyond beautiful. Other races vie at the chance to look like us. Our curvy and beautiful bodies are the epitome of sexy. We aren't just one look, black women range in a variety of hues, and looks.

Do you know your status? How in the world can you go forward with goals and plans if you do not take care of your health? How can you go day to day without as much as walking at least 30 mins a day? How can you be around to enjoy family, friends, and love if you do not take care of your health? You need to start taking care of yourselves! This means diet and exercise. Not just dieting, no, I mean making better choices with food. Eat to live, not live to eat!  Your food choices can be a gateway to dis-ease. That's what disease means, not at ease with oneself. God gives us his fruit of the earth to live on. So eat healthy and watch diabetes, high blood pressure, etc fall away.  Take charge of your reproductive health. Get a backbone and demand STD tests, and safe sex practices. Its your life, if you don't care enough about it to remain abstinent or through the use of condoms, then why should he? If you are a lesbian great, but make sure of your partners status! Live long and well!

So keep your heads up Queens we are better than this, we have endured much worse! This is war, one that we will win. No one will ever make us feel inferior ever again. We've come too far.

Peace, Love, and Light


Prosechild said...

While I definitely understand the sentiment behind this post, and applaud you for uplifting and encouraging us to have positive self-esteem and outlooks in light of the media attention --

we are in precisely the place we're in because we disregard 'negative' reports about our status in health, education, marriage and finances.

The belief that the media is 'out to get' black women and smear us is doing us no good. By ignoring the stats we've helped to create a community where 70% are born out of wedlock; I won't list the other stats b/c I'm sure you're familiar with what they are. We are more likely than any other race to succumb to all these situations because we willfully ignore whats going on around us as tools by white people (or 'the media', whichever you prefer) to hold us back.

The numbers can be disheartening and grim. The way the media is sensationalizing the truth hurts for sure, but honestly, turning our heads and continuing to follow the status quo isn't gonna get us anywhere.

I love the suggestions you've given for black women to take charge of our lives and improve the ways in which we're living. But at the same time, awareness is the spark that causes change. If we're so quick to dismiss these statistics, whats the point of changing? Lets stop looking at them as smear campaigns and see them as appeals to informed action.

Writing Addict said...

I love this comment! Thank you for speaking up about this. You are correct, it definitely got my attention, but I'm not the one who needs to "get it." Obviously the sisters who are not even remotely interested in what the media is saying are the ones who need to turn an light on in their minds.

My purpose is to only spark their interest, and get them to pay attention to what is being said. Although my intentions are great, we have to start somewhere to get the women even motivated a little to want change.

I'm sorry motivatedsista...but I still have a problem at how we are portrayed. Why we are the topic at hand about these so called issues. Why aren't the media interested in Hispanic, Asian, or Indian women and their stats? I guess I will plead ignorance in this area. Still I do hope someone listens on how to "get right," before they "get left."

Prosechild said...

You're right, you're not someone who needs to 'get it'. What I find alarming is that the ones who do don't fully understand what they're supposed to get.

For example, I was reading a msg board thread about the Herpes statistic that came out recently. The majority (this was a black woman's board) said "these stats are blown out of proportion and we need to wrap it up". I was kinda surprised that so many didn't know that Herpes is transmitted regardless of wearing a condom... Another are the women who say "ANOTHER article about bw being single?!" and just ignore it. Like, really? You don't care that damn near half of us have never been married? Stuff like that just grinds my gears...

I was disagreeing with your intention, just with your mistrust of the media when the bigger issue is what we should do with the information.

Now I can't fault you for not liking how we're portrayed. I don't like it either, but the same time, its true. I can count on my fingers how many married friends I have; yet I lose count of how many are dating married men, allowing baby's dad to treat them horribly, would rather get their hair done than work out... the portrayal has to be sensationalized to get viewers/sell newspapers.

But even after the negative portrayal, most won't do anything to improve our lot except mistrust the messenger - and ignore the message altogether.

Assertive Wit said...

well written :)

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